Anatomy of a Tear

A Journey

Anatomy of a Tear

What's a Tear?

We can delve into the constitutional makeup of a tear and how they lubricate the eyes etc. But let’s not. Let’s talk about a tear, many tears falling, crying. Do you find it easy to cry, do you rarely cry, do you only cry when alone and never in front of anyone? Does it feel shameful to cry or ugly or embarrassing? Let’s delve in and I’ll share my insights, stories, and more.

Crying tears of joy, tears of grief and everything in between. Tears are closely connected to feelings and are a way to express ourselves. How comfortable are you expressing yourself with tears? And letting others see you cry, the guard down? For me, not so much.

I feel deeply but my upbringing has taught me to hide emotions. In the past others have judged me and used unkind words. They did not know the depth that I felt. I was taught to be strong and strong meant to show the world you have a heart of steel, nothing bothers you. I was told as a child we don't have time for this. In other words, stuff it in. Others may view the one who rarely expresses feelings as ruthless, heartless, uncaring and so on. But remember you never know what is going on inside another. My intent after you read this blog is for compassion to flow, and a release of judgement.

My grandfather would tell me a poem growing up. He was a rock in the family, kind, loving, considerate and so on. He touched many lives, a beautiful soul. He would remind me this Indian proverb, “Walk a Mile in His Moccasins”. It’s about not judging your neighbor until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I never understood the depth of this, I think, until recently. Older and hopefully wiser. I thank my grandfather for teaching me. Now I understand with more depth and choose compassion for my neighbor, and I hope you will too at the conclusion.

Tears are a mode of expression. At my grandfather’s funeral I felt deeply yet I couldn’t cry, everything was stuck inside, like a lump in my throat but unable to release. I tried to cry. I know that may sound strange to some, but I tried, and I couldn’t. Maybe people thought I was unempathetic, uncaring, who knows.

One day I was working with a colleague, and I told her this dilemma this inability to cry. She understood and said she used to be the same. Eagerly, I wanted to know how to cry, let my emotions flow. She said she didn’t know how or when it happened for her, it just did. Now I see, and knowing her and her journey I understand, it was one of inner healing.

For me I took an inner journey like my friend and colleague to heal emotional wounds. Slowly as they each were uncovered and wrapped in love they healed. This is an unending process. Now I can cry, I cry sometimes watching a movie or when laughing at myself. I still hold closely to my emotions and my tears often still stay inside and my preference is to cry in the privacy of my home but sometimes the tears flow not at will but freely. Anyone who knows me will react when they see me cry.

It may seem odd to talk about tears, but emotions are something that need to be expressed. They are not meant to be locked up inside our bodies. In my profession I can often feel someone’s emotions that are stuck in the body. With perfect timing, we work together in letting whatever is ready to release. Often tears are cried by both client and practitioner. It is beautiful to express freely with tears. I imagine as my journey continues; they continue to shed more freely.

My hope is that you may view others from a new higher perspective. I hope this story shed light for you about others you view as mean, arrogant, rude and so on. You don’t know their story and I bet each one of them has a sad story. Be kind to them, have compassion. Showering them with kindness may be what they need, and it will change the course of their day. You never know the depth of someone’s pain. Be the light for others. (I will say we never accept abuse from others and in that case remove yourself and energetically send them kindness. A blog for another day).

I can tell you I have had clients come in and I sense they are angry, mad, mean or just in a mood. I know not to take any of it personally and I work with compassionate hands to assist in any healing they are ready to receive. Most times by the end of their session they have shared their story. Not because I asked but because their body was ready to let go even if it was just a piece. It is a beautiful thing.